How Can I Get Through To You
How Can I Become Through to You? : Reconnecting Men and Women
Simon and Schuster, 2002 - 299 halaman
Why is love betwixt men and women and then hard? In this groundbreaking new volume, bestselling writer Terrence Real analyzes the crisis in intimate relations, a crisis that has lasted more a generation, yielding divorce rates of 40 to 50 percent. Our culture prepares us to fall in love, but it does non give u.s. the skills we demand to stay in love. Here Real offers a radical new vision of love and the practical tools with which to achieve information technology. The current crisis is a product of changing gender roles, Real explains. In the past thirty years, women'south roles accept changed radically and men'due south have not. For the first time, adult women are asking their partners to access the very skills -- emotional sensitivity, expressiveness, responsibleness -- that well-nigh men have had psychologically, if not physically, stamped out of them as boys. Patriarchal culture does not enhance boys to exist intimate; it raises them to be competitive performers. At the same fourth dimension, girls are taught to be compliant and all-around. The effect is that, inside relationships, men feel bewildered and unappreciated while women feel unheard and resentful. Conventional therapy, which either sidesteps the issue or reinforces "traditional" male roles, has failed. The demand for intimacy in marriage must be met with new skills. Real's insights into marriage are a direct outgrowth of his pioneering work on male depression, which culminated in his bestselling I Don't Want to Talk About It. As in that book, Real draws on myth, literature, moving-picture show, and heartrending stories of the men and women he treats to illustrate his compelling analysis. Breaking taboos about love, matrimony, and passion, Real not only reconstructs gender roles only also shows that patriarchy's idealized model of honey is impossibly flawed. He teaches partners to replace it with a love that acknowledges imperfections, and he then provides five Core Relational Skills designed to help every couple reach their full potential. Innovative, powerful, and eminently helpful, How Can I Get Through to You? is the volume that every couple has been waiting for -- and our culture needs.
Bagian yang populer
Halaman 96 - For in my style information technology lies. Stars, hide your fires; Let non light see my black and deep desires: The eye wink at the paw; yet let that be Which the eye fears, when it is washed, to see.
Halaman 6 - Datta : what accept we given ? My friend, blood shaking my heart The atrocious daring of a moment'due south surrender Which an historic period of prudence tin can never retract...
Lengkap
Halaman 96 - Come, thick night, And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell, That my keen knife run into not the wound it makes, Nor sky peep through the blanket of the dark, To cry " Hold, hold !
Halaman 148 - April is the cruellest month, breeding Lilacs out of the expressionless land, mixing Memory and desire, stirring Irksome roots with jump rain.
Halaman 148 - This is the dead country This is cactus state Here the stone images Are raised, hither they receive The supplication of a dead man's manus Under the twinkle of a fading star.
Halaman 206 - ... everything looks beautiful is because it is out of balance, but its background is always in perfect harmony. This is how everything exists in the realm of Buddha nature, losing its residual confronting a background of perfect balance. And then if you see things without realizing the background of Buddha nature, everything appears to be in the form of suffering. But if you empathise the background of existence, you realize that suffering itself is how we live, and how we extend our life.
Halaman 206 - When we lose our balance we die, merely at the aforementioned time nosotros also develop ... we grow. Whatever we see is irresolute, losing its balance. The reason everything looks beautiful is because it is out of balance, but its background is always in perfect harmony. This is how everything exists in the realm of Buddha nature, losing its residual against a groundwork of perfect balance.
Halaman 20 - We force our children out of the wholeness and connectedness in which they begin their lives. Instead of cultivating intimacy ... we teach boys and girls, in complementary ways, to bury their deepest selves, to cease speaking, or attending to, the truth, to hold in mistrust, or fifty-fifty in disdain, the state of closeness we all, by our natures, most require. We alive in an antirelational, vulnerability-despising culture, one that non only fails to nurture the skills of connexion but actively fears them.
Ringkas
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